I like to think I'm doing well with things and that I'm handling the fact that my relationship has been turned upsidedown. But realistically, I haven't let myself have a chance to think about what's happened (or hasn't) and what that means long term.
I wish I knew what happened to my boyfriend.... the man that cared about me and had made me an important part of his life.
I'm in so much denial that I've been able to go on with my life and put the details and betrayal out of my mind. I know that we're not in a relationship right now (afterall, you can't be in a relationship without another person), but a part of me is still holding out for the S I knew to come back to me in March.
Don't get me wrong, I've told myself everything you're thinking right now (and I've heard it from some of my friends)...
-You deserve more
-You have given him so much and he hasn't made an effort for you
-You shouldn't waste your time on someone that doesn't make you a priority (war or not)
-You've made excuses for him; it's his time to step up.
Easier said than done.
His birthday is Sunday, and sometime this week he should be getting the 2 packages I sent him (before we broke up). After that milestone, I'm hoping I can start to let go.... After all, it's apparent that he has.
This post makes me feel for you! It definitely is hard to let go, no one can deny that. I'm sorry he wasn't the same to you as you were to him. I don't even know the story but I'm really sorry. I am glad you are still blogging and hope it helps get you through whatever may happen.
ReplyDeleteSo I have to say that war does some silly things to men.. they have too much time to talk. But I hope you feel better soon.. just keep your head up!
ReplyDeleteI can definitely tell you, you're not the only one who's gone thru the denial stage. Cause I've been there and done that. And Although everyone is telling you to move on & that you deserve better. There is no doubt in my mind that you do, but somethings are easier said then done. And getting thru this will take some time, but it will be possible (even though at the moment it doesn't seem like it is) Just go out and enjoy your family and your friends and what makes you happy and with time all this confusing, betrayal,denial and hurting will pass. everything will fall back into place on its own, for now just enjoy life and take it one day at a time ;)
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