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Tuesday, May 31, 2011

25 days.....And totally counting...

UGH!  I'm not a happy girlfriend today. 

Twenty five freaking days since I have heard a single word or gotten any message whatsoever from my boyfriend.  I know he told me it would be about a month, but I'm SO OVER IT!  Can't Uncle Sam do me a little favor and let my boyfriend call me a measly 5 days early?

No?  Ok, I guess I will deal with it.  But I'm not happy about it....

Hoping and praying S is safe and well.... and that I get confirmation of that soon. 

Never have I ever wished for something as small as one email. 

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Monday, May 30, 2011

Memorial Day

I spent the weekend at my sister's cabin and had such a great time.  The trip to the lake was very last minute for me, but I really enjoyed spending time with her, her husband, and my beautiful niece AJ.  The weekend was a mixture of down time (because of rain, again) allowing me to make a great dent in my book, a quick bonfire, great food, and a boat ride complete with a teeny bit of sunburn. 

In all of this, I thought about S often.  How much he would have enjoyed spending the weekend there as well..... When I pulled the sweatshirt on that I wore to a bonfire the night prior, I was instantly reminded that the bonfire smell is his absolute favorite - He would seriously wear it as cologne if he could... seriously.  I thought about how much fun he would have had fishing today during our couple of hours on the lake.  When I saw all of the American Flags that lined the streets of the small town in Wisconsin, my mind would always shift back to him. 

To S:  Thank you for inspiring me with your courage and faith... courage to go to a war zone for a second time and having faith in me that I have the strength and bravery to go through this deployment as well.  Thank you for teaching me how to trust... for showing me that a relationship can be strong enough to sustainweeks/months without communication.  Thank you for being such an amazing role model and example of selflessness and commitment to a better good.  For teaching me patience (well, maybe we're still working on that one!) to roll with the punches and learn to deal with uncertainties that I cannot change.  And most of all, thank you for showing me what love is.... for making me feel it so much that I couldn't imagine spending 6 weeks without you let alone 14 months.... for giving me the strength to go day by day... and for showing me what true committment and faith really is.

To those that love a soldier or service-member, thank you for letting go of your loved ones while they fight for us.  Thank you for standing by them even though it means you have to serve in your own way as well.  Thank you, for supporting their bravery, pride, and desire to make an impact....

And to those of you who have lost a soldier, words cannot express my gratitude for their service and the sympathies I wish you and your family. 

Also, today I'm remembering my Grandpa C, a WWII vet.  He left this world for his next adventure last July and we miss him dearly.

Happy Memorial Day. 

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Friday, May 27, 2011

In Remembrance

Remember...
- That you have freedoms some people will never imagine
- That your country stands for democracy, free will, hard work, and perseverance
- That you can get up each and every day and decide how you want to spend your day
- That this country, this lifestyle, this freedom comes with a great price....

Casualties 6,033
Operation Iraqi Freedom 4,421
Operation Enduring Freedom 1,576
Operation New Dawn 36


As of 27 May 2011 10AM EDT

It is foolish and wrong to mourn the men who died. Rather we should thank God that such men lived.
— George S. Patton

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Thursday, May 26, 2011

Being a couple without my boyfriend

Memorial Day is upon us and I have a new respect for the holiday this year... A day to honor fallen soldiers who selflessly gave their lives to protect ours.

As long as I can remember, Memorial Day to me meant the beginning of summer; a day off of work and school, and overall excitement about the next 3 months to come. Nothing like what it means to me now.

This year, I'm torn.  I am so proud of what my soldier is doing every day... What he has volunteered to do.  Memorial Day to him will be like any other day in the middle of the desert.  But what will it be for me?

Today I was reminded of how much this weekend is celebrated with families and traditions.  Couples are going to their in-law's cabins, family bbq's, and  in general have their own activities they do every year.  If S were here, he and I would be going up north also.  But he's not here.... And I'm not sure how to enjoy this weekend that has normally brought excitement and fun when my boyfriend is 6,800 miles away. 

This is not meant to be a guilt trip or a "poor me" post.  Instead, it's about me figuring out to be a couple without my boyfriend. 

How do I hold on to the memories we have and the things we've done without being sad that I can't do them this year? 
How do I stay happy for my friends and family who's lives are allowing themselves to continue thier traditions without feeling bad for myself? 
How do I go through holidays and events without feeling like a tag-a-long or a third wheel? 
How do I keep myself from being absolutely sucked into work becasue it's easier than sitting at home?
How do I become optimistic and appreciate these obstacles instead of be sad about them?
When does it get easier? 

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Wednesday, May 25, 2011

7,000 More

Summer Deployments

Found the update above on ArmyTimes.com...  7,000 more Army soldiers will be deploying to Iraq sometime from mid-summer to fall of this year.

7,000!!

So many soldiers, girlfriends/wives, children, husbands/boyfriends, mothers, fathers, siblings are preparing to say goodbye.  They're picturing all the events and moments that they're soldier won't be around for, getting anxiety about how to spend their time together, what to say, what to do.... 

My heart goes out to them.  And I'm realizing (surprisingly, for the first time) truly how much of a community we all are.  If at least 5 people love each one of those soldiers, that's 35,000 people going through what I went through.... Having the same thoughts and fears and questions I have. 

I wish them all well.... I don't envy the goodbye ahead of them and the anticipation of deployment day.

Selfishly, I no longer feel so alone in this. 

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Tuesday, May 24, 2011

I wish I could wear a sign...

...that says, "Yes, I know my eyes are completely red... And No, I don't have pink eye.  Nope, haven't been crying either."

Allergies are a beast.... Just when you're enjoying the beautiful weather (in theory) after a dreadfully long and brutal winter my arch nemesis hits.  Freaking allergies.  Because of these pesky buggers, I have wanted to scratch my eyes out for the last week and let me tell you, it has NOT been a pretty sight. 

But today... RELIEF!  I finally caved and went to the Target clinic; they ended up giving me a prescription eye drop that is HEAVEN for my eye balls.  Within half an hour, my eyes felt significantly better; that teeny tiny bottle of eye drops were definitely worth the $40 I had to pay. 

Guess I'll have to hold onto that sign until my next ailment. :) 


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Monday, May 23, 2011

Afraid of Forgetting

My days are getting easier.... I'm not sad all the time and I'm starting to get used to not hearing from my boyfriend.

While you may think that's a good thing, I'm not so sure.

I'm afraid of forgetting....
Forgetting what his voice sounds like
The smirk he gets on his face and how his eyes light up when he thinks I'm funny
His laugh....
Forgetting about his quirks
How he defends his eating habits and his desire to wear socks with flip flops
Forgetting about what his snoring sounds like (ok, maybe I'm ok with that one :) )
How he puts his hand on my back when we're walking through a crowd
Forgetting what it feels like to see him on a regular basis and look forward to being with him.

I like to think I am dealing ok with this deployment and the 18 days of no communication.  But I'm so terrified of losing the connection and relationship I had with him before he left...  I so miss talking to him and hearing his voice....


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Sunday, May 22, 2011

Tornados...

A few weeks into spring/summer and we've already had three or so tornado warnings.  My friends make fun of me for my hightened fear of these storms and always laugh when I head to the basement.  Today around 2 pm when the alarms went off, I'm very glad I did.

A tornado touched down about 3 miles from my house and headed directly into North Minneapolis.  One of the hardest hit areas is about 5 miles away and within blocks of my route to work.  There were multiple touch downs that hit MPLS and northern suberbs and the damage is still being assessed. 

My thoughts and prayers are with those who lost their homes, thier cars, their possessions, and their faith this afternoon.  Looking forward to how I can help volunteer to clean up.



additional pics can be found on kare11.com
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Saturday, May 21, 2011

A lofty request

71 days since I've seen my boyfriend
17 days since my last text message from him.
15 days since I've had any communication whatsoever from him.

So funny and ironic to me how my apprecation for things changes as life changes.
It's Friday night, I'm watching the late night shows, and wishing more than anything I can get as much as one line in an email that says "I made it"
No club, party, or crazy shenanigans can calm the nerves I feel right now.  
I just want to know he's safe. 
I don't care about things or gifts.... I just want a little peace of mind knowing my soldier is where he needs to be and he's ok. 

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Thursday, May 19, 2011

Arbor Day

I feel very lucky to work for a company that values community giving and volunteering.  This afternoon 6 of my coworkers and I went to a park in Minneapolis and participated in the Arbor Day annual tree planting event with other corporate groups and school classes.  In total, about 210 trees were planted today and our group contributed to about 25 of them.   The weather was great and there were a lot of laughs throughout the afternoon. 

Once we were done, it was amazing to look around and truly see the impact that can be made by a group of people working together for even a few hours.  You figure out a game plan, plant the first tree, and one by one work your way down the park.  Before I knew it, we had planted our last tree and I looked back to see everything that we'd done together. 

Reminds me of what I'm going through now with S overseas.  A year is so truly overwhelming to think about.  But I just have to start; one day and then the next and then the next.  I need to remember what I want to accomplish while I go through the year and (hopefully!) I will be able to look back and realize not only have I made it through the year, but I've accomplished a lot in the process.


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Tuesday, May 17, 2011

How to be patient

Today I'm not feeling patient.  I'm not feeling like embracing my year of independence.  I'm not feeling brave and strong and calm. 

I'm nervous... nervous that he's not safe.... Nervous about his well being, his state of mind, and the safety of his unit.  Nervous about what's to come and the fact that I'll never truly know what he's doing/seeing/living over there.

I'm anxious... extremely anxious about where in Iraq he is.... How heavily populated is the area?  Is he safe in a compound?  Has he made it to his temporary "home"?  Is he sleeping with his gun wrapped around his shoulder?

I'm frustrated... frustrated that I can't talk to him, be with him, be there for him.  Frustrated that I have to watch all of these couples take their loved one for granted or worse, treat them poorly.  Frustrated that I can't change the situation, do anything to keep him safe, and that I am completely powerless.  Furstrated that he can't be here for me.... to talk me through my day and make me feel better about the things that trouble me or upset me.  Frustrated for making it about me.

I chose to be in this relationship.
I chose to love a military man.
I am choosing every day to stand by him and be so very proud of him.
Doesn't mean I love every piece of military life. 
But I'm learning a lot. 
A lot about myself.
A lot about what I'm capable of
A lot about how strong I am
And (very) slowly, how to be patient

~"Patience is waiting.  Not passively waiting.  That is laziness.  But to keep going when the going is hard and slow - that's patience." 

~"The keys to patience are acceptance and faith.  Accept things as they are, and look realistically at the world around you.  Have faith in yourself and in the direction you have chosen" Ralph Marston

~"Patience is not passive.  On the contrary, it is active; it is concentrated strength." Edward G Bulwer-Lytton



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Monday, May 16, 2011

Guilty?

For all you Military Girlfriends/Wives out there.... Do you ever feel guilty if you go a period of time and not think of your boyfriend or husband?  This afternoon I was crazy busy at work (not that that's unusual) and then had to run an errand afterwards.... It made me feel guilty that he only passed through my mind a few times in 8 hours.

I know he's somewhere in Iraq seeing things I can't even imagine; while he's doing that, I'm getting caught up in my work and life.  I know I can't spend the whole deployment thinking about him all the time, but how do you live your civilian life without guilt? 


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Whew

36 hours with a very energetic 4 year old and I am tuckered out!  I had so much fun with my sweet niece.  It amazes me how big she's gotten and how grown up she is.  Some of the things she says blows me away....

We had a pretty jam packed couple of days.... Saturday when I picked her up it was raining; instead of going to the park, I took her to Chuckie Cheese.  Holy cow.... I didn't remember how loud it was in there.  Crazy, sugared up kids running around screaming and cheering.  AJ was so overwhelmed at first by all the kiddos... but after a quick tutorial in skee ball, she came around....


Later Sat afternoon, we started to bake cookies.  She and I did this for the first time a little over a year ago and it's become tradition.... If AJ spends time at Auntie's, we make cookies.


On Sunday, we went to one of my favorite places.... The Como Zoo!!  They are a donation only zoo in St. Paul and have some really fun animals.  It's fairly small so it doesn't take forever to walk around either.  After we got done there, we went to the park next door where AJ rode a few rides all by herself! 

So much fun!

On a side note, I'm still anxiously waiting to hear from S.   I don't know where he is or what he's doing.  All I can do is pray that he's safe.  I keep trying to google news stories or look on Military websites so I can stay up to speed with what's going on over there.... But I'm not sure if that makes me feel better or worse.

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Saturday, May 14, 2011

QT with my fav 4 yr old

In about an hour, I'm going to be picking up my 4 year old niece for the rest of the weekend.  My sister and brother-in-law are building a new house but sold thier current much faster than they anticipated.  Rumor has it, moving iwth a 4 year old wnating to help isn't super productive.... Lucky for me!! :)

Not sure what all we're going to do yet.... We always bake cookies when she comes over so that's on the list.  If it stops raining, may do the Como Zoo or play outside with some chalk.... And she's very excited to use her new sleeping bag I got her on her birthday. 

I'm sure there will be some funny convos to share tomorrow night!

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Friday, May 13, 2011

Seriously... Gross.

I have never considered myself a heath nut and by no means a vegetarian.... Until today I was blissfully ignorant about a lot of what I eat.  After finishing The Help tonight (Fantastic book if you haven't read it.... Well worth your time) I started in on Skinny Bitch.  I'd heard from a few co-workers that reading it will change your eating habits forever and honestly, this girl could stand to lose a few lbs so I thought 'what the hell'. 

O.M.G.  I gagged multiple times reading about the crap and poison that is in so many of the foods I eat.  And the process of animals being slaughtered..... I had to force myself in between gasps and gags to read the details. 

I've never wanted to be a vegetarian or a vegan (there's some nasty stuff in dairy too), but it is going to be really hard for me to eat some of the things I have been knowing what I do now.

I had a feeling this book would have this effect on me.... So what did I do?  Intentionally didn't read it for over a year.  Then I decided today that if I was avoiding something that much because it would make me change my ways, I'm far worse off avoiding it than just giving it a chance.

Have any of you read it?  Are you vegetarians?  I'm heartbroken that some of my favorite foods may never taste the same to me and I'm at a loss for what I actually will eat.  This could get interesting. 

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Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Not a fan....

I don't think I can express in words how TERRIFIED I am of tornados.  I love thunderstorms and rain (in moderation of course).  Today was a beautiful day.... 75-85 degrees which meant lunch outside and happy hour on a patio.  After a beer or two tonight, the temperature started to drop and PB and I headed to dinner in the warehouse district downtown.  As we were having a glass of wine, some crazy clouds started going through and my phone had multiple tornado alerts.  Within 5-10 min of the tornado warning the manager of the restaurant knew I was the "special" customer and kept me updated on any doppler radar action (He even pointed out where I could go if I wanted to get away from the windows)

In a short time span, we had sun, crazy clouds, and quarter/ping pong sized hail...  And then the first round passed so we could escape back to our houses.

Thanks, PB, for not only skipping yoga with me to have a few beverages outdoors.... but for keeping me entertained as we waited out the storm :)


Creepy clouds over downtown
PB humoring me...
he he... maybe being a bit dramatic

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Monday, May 9, 2011

If you have never loved a soldier...

If you have never loved a soldier, then you wouldn't know how it feels to watch him leave, never knowing when you will see his face again. You wouldn't know the pain endured and tears shed with every good-bye. You wouldn't know how it feels to hope and pray he comes back the same man you fell in love with. You wouldn't know how it feels to cry yourself to sleep for months on end, and the longing to simply touch his cheek. You wouldn't know the heartache after missing his long awaited call or the hint of happiness when you realize that you are now able to listen to the voicemail over and over again. You wouldn't understand why a Friday night on the phone with him beats going out with the girls. You haven't truly felt the lack of sleep until after those long phone calls that go on until midnight his time, six A.M. yours when you have to get up for work at seven.

If you've never loved a soldier you wouldn't know how it feels to go to a restaurant or to the mall, attempting not to notice couples holding hands, trying to hold back tears, knowing it will be twenty seven weeks until your fingers are once more intertwined in his.

If you've never had a soldier sweetheart, you would never be able to comprehend the immense pride that fills your smile when you wear his sweatshirt with 'ARMY' across your chest, or the reason you wear his dog tags: to always keep him close to your heart. You wouldn't know what its like to cuddle up in his clothes and grasp the teddy bear he made you last week, knowing that its the closest to him you can get. You wouldn't understand how decorating the back of your car with bumper stickers could ever be cool, and the connection you feel with another whose car wears the same emblem as your own. You wouldn't know the sacrifice, the willingness to let go of someone you love so much for the good of faceless strangers who would not have spared him a passing glance, had he been in his civilian clothes. You wouldn't know the feeling of uncertainty, never knowing where he will be sent next year, or next week. You would never know how it feels to be left alone with your hopes, dreams, and fears, to have your whole future hanging in the balance of the next couple months until he comes home.

If you've never loved a soldier, you would never fully know the meaning of the phrase: 'HOOAH!' You wouldn't be able to comprehend the anxiousness of waiting for the mailman, the extreme joy when a letter finally arrives, and the tears that follows as you read his quick scribbled handwriting. You wouldn't ever have to send a letter with its stamp upside down to a faraway camp in a land you rather not know about. You wouldn't understand the anticipation leading up to the day when you can once again hold him in your arms. You wouldn't know why that feeling of awe over a man in uniform, has suddenly become a deep longing and grief because you miss your man so much.

If your heart has never belonged to a soldier you wouldn't know what its like to become ecstatic when you see a man in dress blues across a billboard, freak out when you watch the commercial on T.V., and feel your chest tighten when you read a sign that says Support our Troops, Bring Them Home! You wouldn't understand this because you do not realize that he wanted to fight, and as much as you need him, you know our country needed him more. You'll never understand the strength you have to muster up to be strong and put on a smile for the world, even though you feel so weak inside.

Unless you've loved a soldier, you wouldn't know that the meaning behind his girls smile is heartache and longing, pride and joy, willingness and uncertainty, and a love great enough to cross oceans, encompass deserts, transcend mountains, and overcome anything that comes between the two of them.

-Unknown

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Dog Tease

My friend showed me this video last weekend and I can't stop laughing at it. 
Watch it... I guarantee it will make you smile.

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Dear Hotmail....

I'm currently going day by day through a period of time where I have no communication with S.  It's hard for me to think about what he's doing everyday, where he is, and if he's safe.  I truly have no idea where he is.  But I know he's well trained and I have to tell myself that he's just fine.

However, I still want to talk to him.  To tell him the random things that have gone on with my day and things that have made me laugh or really irritated me.  So, I've decided to email.  I know it will be a number of weeks before he will even have a chance to read them, but I'm emailing him as if he's on the other side of the world in front of his computer, reading my messages.   In all reality, he probably won't read them all when he gets to where he's going, but they make me feel better. Is that wierd? 
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Sunday, May 8, 2011

Alyssa v. Robin

For some odd reason, I have never been a fan of birds.  Pigeons remind me of rats with wings and any bird (other than the cool ones like Toucans or Flamingos) creep me out.  This latest incident is not helping my dislike of the feathered creatures.

I am in the midst of a battle with a robin..... This bird is ruthless and quite persistent.  About 3 weeks ago, this irritating winged creature started repeatedly flying into my sliding glass door.  And not the "oops I didnt' think there was a window there" kind; I'm talking the "why don't I continue to flap my wings against the glass and dive bomb the window" kind. 

At first, it was funny.  Now, my deck, chairs, and table are covered with bird poop and it is no longer humerous.  Yesterday I had to chase it away 5 or 6 times.  It's downright annoying and I'm seriously afraid I'll be on the deck grilling and it will try to fly into my house.  Today I've changed me action plan.... I found a outdoor window chime/hanging thing and put it right in front of the window Robin has been determined to break into.  I also unstacked my chairs and moved them around (not sure what that will do but gotta try it, right?). 

So far so good.... I'm about an hour and a half into our most recent battle and no attmept yet.  If this doesn't work, I'm going to have to get more creative.

On a completely different note, I wanted to thank all of the mothers (especially mine) for everything you do for your children.  The hours toting your kids from soccer to dance to basketball, putting up with the "I hate you's" in the teenage years, and always being willing to drop whatever is going on to give advice or comfort whenever needed.  You do amazing things :)

UPDATE:
Dumb bird tried again.  I heard a familiar thud on the window and sure enough when I got up the bird was sitting on the railing planning its next attack.  Anyone have a plan C?



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Friday, May 6, 2011

I Won't Let Go

It's like a storm
That cuts a path
It breaks your will
It feels like that
You think you're lost
But you're not lost on your own
You're not alone.

I will stand by you
I will help you through
When you've done all you can do
And you can't cope

Rascal Flatts - I Won't Let Go


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Mil-Spouse (and Girlfriend?) Appreciation Day

Today is a tough day for me.... Can't really get in to details about it but I found it very fitting that today has become MilSpouse Appreciation Day. 

Although I'm not an Army wife, I feel that all of us (wives, girlfirends, husbands, boyfriends) have a tough job as well as our significant others.  Please support those who are at home having to hold everything together all while supporting the brave men and women that are fighting for you. 

Thanks, Barack Obama, for recognizing all of the sacrifices we make as people who love and support a soldier.

Obama declares May 6 MilSpouse Appreciation Day
"Military spouses serve as steady and supportive partners to the heroes in uniform who protect and defend our great Nation every day. Across America and around the world, military spouses serve our country in their own special way, helping families and friends through the stress of a deployment, caring for our wounded warriors, and supporting each other when a loved one has made the ultimate sacrifice." Barack Obama


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Thursday, May 5, 2011

I'm trying

No surprise to anyone that knows me.... Dealing with unknowns is not my strength.  With S being in the military, I'm learning to be more patient than I am today and figuring out that I can't just make a call when something isn't to my liking.  In my job and in "normal" life, I'm used to just picking up the phone when I don't have all the answers or talking someone into a compromise that gets both of us the information we need.

Not anymore.

I hate not knowing where my boyfriend is.  I can't believe his phone is off and I don't know when it will go back on.  He may be gone.  He may be at post.  He may have a dead battery.  I don't know how to just roll with the punches and convince myself that there's nothing I can do about it.

But I'm trying....

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Wednesday, May 4, 2011

My little brother

turned 27 today!  Crazy to think how the little boy who would rip off my Barbie heads and hide under pillows watching the Wizard of Oz has become such an amazing man and supportive brother.  I don't know what I would have done without him over the last 10 years or so and am so thankful for our relationship.

Happy Birthday B!  This will be one of your best years yet :)



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Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Please don't forget....

Images are all over the media about Osama bin Laden's death and the compound that he was living in.  This event in history isn't just about being an American or winning a war.  It's about fighting for humanity.  It's about taking one loss for the greater good of not only a nation, but all nations.

weeklyreader.com

wflx.com

New York Times

Yes, over the last few days there have been a lot of questions about how bin Laden was able to hide out for as long as he did, what (if any) retaliation we may face, and whether he was armed or not. But Americans are proud of their military again.... they are coming together to show that we will not tolerate terrorist acts on innocent people.  We will protect eachother and we will support eachother.  

There are also a lot of people using social media outlets to express their "disappointment" of the USA and that we killed bin Laden.  I have a hard time reading things like that and thus have taken a break from facebook. I know everyone's entitled to their opinion which means I'm entitled to mine. To those people: How can you forget?  How can you put aside all of the truly awful and evil things this man has done and contributed to?  How come each time a soldier dies fighting for your freedom you don't even pay attention let alone post about how their life was injustly taken?  Heaven forbid they make your Facebook status... This man trained children and young men to hate.  Is taking him out in his home really that much different than putting him through a drawn out trial to give him the death penalty? 

I haven't forgotten.  I'm reminded every day of the post 9/11 world we now live in. 
My boyfriend hasn't forgotten.  Whether he's supported or not, he's making one of the ultimate sacrifices.  He's protecting our country because he believes what we as a country stand for and wants to be active in defending that.

I realize everyone has their opinion.... And in a perfect world, we'd all get along, share our resources, and play nice.  But this isn't a perfect world.  And I will never forget why we're in the place we are. 

Troy Rosasco

theintelhub.com

familysecuritymatters.org

homepost.kpbs.org

irandefence.net


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Monday, May 2, 2011

Justice

I've been catching up on all of the articles and information that's come out about USA's attack and capture of Osama BinLaden's compound and body.  I have very mixed feelings about the situation which is odd.  On one hand, I feel very thankful that justice has been served to this awful excuse of a human being.  As if all of the travesties he's responsible for and the mass killing and evil isn't enough, he shows his true colors right before his life was taken from him.... he uses a woman as a human shield in an attempt to save his own life. 

However, it's hard for me to celebrate a death.  It's something that I have never done in my 28 years and I don't really know how to do it.  I guess I'm happy for the fact that he can no longer hurt innocent people and that we've sent a message to his followers that we will persevere until justice has been served. But I definitely wasn't celebrating last night when I heard the news.

Instead, my reaction was one of gratitude.... I am so thankful for all of the brave soldiers who day in and day out put their lives aside to fight for a greater cause and to create a world that's a little better from the day before.  With that comes gratitude for the soldier's significant others and family... They also play a big part in the success of our military operations.... Troops that are loved and supported at home can focus on their top priority at the time... Keeping themselves and their fellow soldiers safe. 

I was also extrememly proud of what my soldier has and will continue to do.  It really sunk in what an impact he has when Obama called out the fantastic work of military intelligence.  Although this is truly one of the hardest situations I've ever been in, it makes me feel safe to know that I have someone fighting for me.  Even though he's not with me and I dont' really get to talk to him, I know he's thinking about me and giving his entire self to protecting this amazing place we call home.

Finally, I felt relief.... I've struggled with the fact that that many Americans had started to forget that we are still at war and have military in multiple countries.  Although I may have mixed feelings about the latest victory for our war on terrorism, it makes me really happy to see the renewed American pride and sense of unity that we had after 9/11.  I'm relieved that S is serving when people know, understand, and appreciate all of the things he and his unit are doing. 

Whatever your thoughts are on the recent events, please don't forget about the men and women that work day in and out to protect our country.  Please remember them and the people that love and stand by them and pray that they return safetly.... I'll warn you that the video below is a tear jerker...


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Sunday, May 1, 2011

Un-Empathetic

Sometimes I can be un-empathetic.  I know this about myself and will be one of the first to admit it.  Now that I'm in a relationship where I'm lucky if I get communication once a week, I have a hard time listening or supporting someone in what I consider is a petty fight or problem.  As a sidenote, I also know that I may not be able to accurately judge whether something is petty or not, but I'm going to give myself a 95% accuracy rating. 

It's hard for me to listen to someone complain about the small thing that her boyfriend did to her that really irritated her and thus why she's not speaking with him.  Or how he's so mad at her because she didn't hear her phone ring when he called.  Or how she is annoyed that her husband won't go to a party with her.... The list goes on. 

Situations like these, I am not able to be empathetic towards that person or to show sympathy... becasue I don't have any and I'm definitely not about to fake it.  So often we take our loved ones for granted and bitch because we can.  I wish I could be in a situation where I'm able to fight with my boyfriend over the fact that he was 15 minutes late in picking me up for dinner.  Or that he wants to hang out on a Sunday because Saturday night he wants to play poker with the guys. 

But I can't.  He's not here and I have no intention of using up what little time I have to talk to him with complaints or comments about how irritated I am about things neither of us can control.  Don't take your boyfriend, husband, sister, aunt, wife, friend for granted and waste moments of your time fighting over things that don't truly matter.

Moral of the story is this: If one of my friends or family members has something bad happen and needs to talk through it, I am absolutely going to be there 100%.  But, if you're calling to tell me what an ass your boyfriend is because he forgot that today was the anniversary of the first time he called you, you should probably consider calling a different friend. 


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