As long as I can remember, Memorial Day to me meant the beginning of summer; a day off of work and school, and overall excitement about the next 3 months to come. Nothing like what it means to me now.
This year, I'm torn. I am so proud of what my soldier is doing every day... What he has volunteered to do. Memorial Day to him will be like any other day in the middle of the desert. But what will it be for me?
Today I was reminded of how much this weekend is celebrated with families and traditions. Couples are going to their in-law's cabins, family bbq's, and in general have their own activities they do every year. If S were here, he and I would be going up north also. But he's not here.... And I'm not sure how to enjoy this weekend that has normally brought excitement and fun when my boyfriend is 6,800 miles away.
This is not meant to be a guilt trip or a "poor me" post. Instead, it's about me figuring out to be a couple without my boyfriend.
How do I hold on to the memories we have and the things we've done without being sad that I can't do them this year?
How do I stay happy for my friends and family who's lives are allowing themselves to continue thier traditions without feeling bad for myself?
How do I go through holidays and events without feeling like a tag-a-long or a third wheel?
How do I keep myself from being absolutely sucked into work becasue it's easier than sitting at home?
How do I become optimistic and appreciate these obstacles instead of be sad about them?
When does it get easier?
I'm sorry you're having such a tough time dear :( Keep your head up- this too shall pass!
ReplyDeleteYou're an amazing girlfriend... he's so blessed to have someone like YOU. :]
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